Short and Sweet: Drive-Thru Fails, ‘Getting’ a Thoracotomy, and Asking for Forgiveness

Superman vs Kryptonite. Spider-Man vs Green Goblin. Darth Vader vs Obi Wan Kenobi. Christian vs Fast Food Drive Thru’s. Apparently there are lots of people out there who fear going through a drive thru: Well I join your ranks my fellow peeps!

A brief recap since my last post: rambunctious twins escaping cribs, trips into the woods (check out last weeks blog) and topping it off, I celebrated my 31st birthday. Yes hitting that ripe age, dressed in my favourite blue shirt, Captains hat (from Amazon) and eating a delicious warship themed cake that my wife made. Life is good. 🙂

It’s hard to believe that we are nearing the end of April already, and I for one, am so grateful for some nice-ish weather. After going through a solid week of fog and rain, rain and fog and some more fog and rain.. we are on the verge of some sunshine!

Today I’ll be sharing about my inability to focus in a fast-food drive thru, followed by my recent surgery with Dr Railene, and lastly we’ll end it off with a heartfelt story about forgiveness.

Without further delay, pour up a coffee or tea, put your feet up, and enjoy another tale from The Eason Clan.

Drive-Thru Fail #1

It’s 10:30PM on a night shift. I’m at Tim Horton’s drive-thru on Harvey Road, St. John’s. This is how it played out…

“Welcome to ______, what can I get for you?”

Christian’s Conscience (CC): You got this Christian, just like you rehearsed. Order the coffees, the green tea and the Iced Capp’s just like the yellow sticky note says. YOU GOT THIS.

“Hi, can I get a medium coffee, with one cream and one milk? Can I also get a small green tea? I’ll also have two…”

*Drops yellow sticky note on the car floor*

Awkward pause.

“Is that all, sir?” The speaker crackles.

“Ohh sorry, one second…” my voice faded, “I dropped my order….”The paper fell between the middle console and my seat, aka “The Black Hole.” I stretched for scribbled order, like Sam reaching for Frodo’s hand in Mt. Doom.

CC: The army of people behind you must be grumbling. You’d better just go through and come back again.’

REACH FRODO REACH!!!!

“Is that all, sir?” the speaker crackled again.

I can’t reach it…and Frodo falls into a massive lava pit…

*Sigh* “Yeah, that’s it, thanks.”

I pull up to the window, take my two drinks and drive back around the parking lot and into the drive-thru to order the other three.

Welcome to my drive-thru issues.

I can’t quite remember when I developed such an inability to focus in a drive-thru. It seems like as I get older, it becomes worse. Apparently though I’m not alone.

I Googled drive thru anxiety and I was really surprised at all the results. There were pages and pages of results, ranging from phobias, anxiety disorders, and discussion forums to self-help advice to help conquer your fears of ordering.

Personally, I can experience feelings of anxiousness and impatience, with a pinch of distraction. If it’s like two things, meh, I can handle that. But it starts going side ways when I’m doing BIG orders, like six things or more (I can hear the Tim’s employee laughing at my thoughts of a BIG order compared to actual big orders).

However my “Achilles Heel” is: ordering with a passenger in the vehicle. You know the person (in this case, my wife) who informs half way through the order what they want (with substitutions of course). Love you dear. 😘

The only way to explain my situation is with a real life example.

Drive-Thru Fail #2

We were in a McDonald’s drive-thru. Picture a minivan full with two adults and four children. The children had cranky cookies because everyone is either crying, whining or singing random songs behind my seat. So here’s the order so far.

• Double Cheeseburger Meal
• Chicken McNugget Meals
• Wife’s meal?

“What are you having love?”

Pause.

“I don’t know yet.” She replied, staring out her window.

“Okay well decide soon because I’m almost to the speaker.”

Three cars till the speaker. The children are fighting. Blood pressure starting to move a little.

“So what are you having?” I asked again.

I watched as she placed her index finger on the side of her cheek, contemplating the menu.

“I can’t decide if I want the quarter pounder or the wrap. What do you think?”

“Well last time you had the wrap so….”

“Yeah. Tt was really good, maybe I’ll get that again?”

Next car moved.

“Yeah yeah, sure love. So you’re getting the wrap, right?

Pause.

“But do I really want that?”

OH MY GOSH! DECIDE!!!

Next car moves. One away till O-Hour. A whining voice echoed from the back of the van.

“DADDDDDDDD, I want chocolate milkkk to drinkkkk.”

“Yesssss…” with a fate hiss to my voice, “Be quiet please. I am about to order at the speakerrrrr.” Next car moves.

We were now at the speaker. The speaker crackled to life. It’s go time.

“Hi, welcome to McDonald’s, what can I get for you?”

Christian’s Conscience: You got this bro.

“Hi, can I get a double cheeseburger meal, twenty McNuggets, fries, and chocolate milk to drink?”

Short pause. *Crackle crackle* “Sure thing. Would you like anything else?”

I turned to Melissa. There she was leaning half across the middle console, almost onto my lap.

Time to move this along. A slight nudge of the elbow, followed by a “hurry up” stare. That should get her going.

No reply.

**** “SIR, BLOOD PRESSURE CRITICAL. WE’RE BREAKING APART, SIR!” ****

“Babe, come on!”

“Be quiet.”

Then suddenly like a tsunami the order spilled from her mouth. I bumbled verbatim the order.

“You can drive through.” *Crackle Crackle*

CC: Man that was rough, but you did it. *Fist Pump*

“I don’t know why you get so uptight in drive thru’s love. It’s not that hard.”

Don’t get me started on our trips to Starbucks…

‘Getting’ a Thoracotomy

(What you are about to read actually happened. Based on true conversations and events. Conversations used here have been approved, with permission, by a six and four year old.)

“Is it going to hurt, Doctor?”

I wipe the pretend sweat from my forehead, staring into the blue eyes of my doctor. Dr Railene, leans over my chest with forceps, ready to extract the foreign object in my chest cavity.

“Yes. Probably.”

Yeesssh, thanks Doc.

Today it’s play time, and of course I am the patient. Lying on our brown couch, feet propped up on one end, I anxiously await the extraction. My three foot four doctor stands over me – wearing an orange mask, yellow construction googles, and her Queen Elsa dress – ready to perform the surgery of a lifetime.

“Patient, you have an ant in your stomach, and I am going to get it out.”

Patient.

Yes, that’s my only name. Daddy doesn’t exist, neither does Christian, because today I am a nameless human awaiting my surgery. Just another number in this world on a cold slab of steel 😅

She reached forth with her grey play kitchen knife, ready to cut the into my chest cavity.

“Woah Woah Woah! Doctor, I need some anesthesia or something!”

“What’s that mean?”

“It’s a sedative to help with the pain.”

“Oh, I have that here.”

Reaching for the toy needle – located on the dirty living room floor – she inserts the needle into my stomach.

“There, that’s better.” She said.

Then like a flash she cut opened my chest, pushed the forceps against my Dad bod, and extracted the foreign object.

“There! I got it!” *Staring wildly through her googles at the invisible particle* “An ANT! It was eating your stomach! Your all better patient.” She then turned and walked away, leaving my stomach open and the tools scattered around me.

“Railene?”

“You mean Doctor?”

“Yes. Doctor, you haven’t stitched me back up?”

“Oh yeah!” She raced back to the operating table, quickly sowed me together, took off her goggles, and went into the playroom to watch TV with the Twins.

The quickest, most untrained and unsanitary surgery in Newfoundland history I bet.

I know one thing though.

I love my little Doctor:)

Asking for Forgiveness

Parenting is not easy, can I get an amen? In fact some days it’s down right exhausting; physically and mentally. Some days are like a breeze while other days it’s like I’ve been knocked over.

Latest parenting challenge: dealing with lying.

My two oldest children have discovered how to blame their sibling for pretty much everything, and in some cases going as far as letting the other one take the punishment while the guilty party goes free.

Question: What do you do when both children say “I didn’t do it!” and you never actually saw what happened?

As a parent I try to teach my children the importance of telling the truth and to admit when you’ve done something wrong; because in the end, it’s better to tell the truth then to cover it up with a lie.

Ninth Commandant: “Thou shalt not lie.”

Very simple and strait to the point. Lying sows distrust, hurts relationships, and causes division.

So better to nip it in the butt now then let it linger.

Well this one day something happened in our home, and it was serious enough to have a sit down with both children. Spark notes version: both said it was the other did the wrong, pointing fingers and even crying that it wasn’t them. From everything that was said, I believed Benaiah to be the culprit. He was adamant it wasn’t him, however I thought he was lying since something very similar had happened before at his hand.

Punishment: Grounded in his room for a bit with no TV or Xbox downstairs for a while.

Later, I went into his room to talk some more. I noticed his faced had changed from defensive to sad. “Daddy, it really wasn’t me. Railene was the one lying….” The way he said it combined with his facial expressions sowed some doubt in my decision. So I went to Railene and asked again her if she had done it, to which she replied, “Yes. I did.”

I had punished the wrong person. Not only punished, but told Benaiah that he was lying to me when he was actually telling the truth.

I felt terrible.

I immediately went back into his room, sat down on his bed and stared out the window. “Benaiah, I am sorry for not believing you. I am sorry.”

He stared down at his book, then back up at me.

“It’s okay Dad, I love you. Jesus tells us to forgive. So I forgive you Dad.”

I started to cry.

Here was my six year old son, forgiving his father. A complete reversal of the Prodigal Son (Read Luke 15 in the Bible).

Reflection

I leave this with you today. Even if the evidence seems so convincing – past events, things said or wrongs witnessed – it doesn’t mean you are right. Benaiah was telling the truth, and I didn’t let down my own misconceptions and judgement, to properly let things cool down and think it through.

I think the Professor in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis said it best.

Peter and Lucy, the two oldest siblings of Lucy, brought forward an issue to the Professor. Lucy had claimed to have gone to another world and met a magical creature, a Faun. Seeking his advice, they explained the situation and were quite surprised by his answer:

“Logic!” Said the Professor half to himself. “Why don’t they teach logic at these schools? There are only three possibilities. Either you sister is telling lies, or she is mad, or she is telling the truth. You know she doesn’t tell lies and it is obvious she is not mad. For the moment then and unless any further evidence turns up, we must assume that she is telling the truth.

Page 48. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

Let’s all keep that in mind.

I hope you have a great weekend, and if you want to stay up to date with my writings, subscribe below. Feel free to share my blog on Facebook and Twitter. And remember: If you are nervous in a drive thru, take a deep breath. If you serving someone in a drive thru, have some mercy on us poor souls 😛

Christian