Ice Skating for Noobs, Chinese “Spy” Balloons, and Laser Tag Heroics

Good morning everyone! I hope you all had a great week. These last two weeks have been filled with lots of action and some hair-raising events. I’ve experienced some things out of my norm; which will be included in this post today. Besides my own personal stories, I will also be commenting on the ongoing issue of Chinese “Weather” or “Spy” balloons, entering North America and causing quite a stir.

Sit back and enjoy!

Ice Skating for Noobs

Yes, I am the noob be referenced here.

I will not boast about my ice skating abilities, as there are none to boast about. Yet, I will explain the feelings I felt last week, while on the ice with my school – being purely dominated by grade three students and up. Here is my teacher’s log of my experience.

First: I haven’t skated in about three years. Starting off, I most likely improperly tied my skates, as my ankles were bowed and I looked like a giraffe on ice (much to the enjoyment of my students for sure.)

Second: Once I started skating around the rink, I quickly realized my level of skill compared to that of the Kindergarten students – was lacking. As they groped for chairs and bright red triangular supports, I blindly made my way around the ice.

Funny. The longer I skated, the more advice I received from nearby parents on the ice.

An interesting correlation.

I could almost hear my ankles crying out for mercy – yet I paid no heed. My determination to skate and part-take with my students overpowered the desire to sit; at least that’s what I kept telling myself. That was until, I noticed only ten minutes had gone by.

I exclaimed out loud, “Glory! Only ten minutes? My ankles are killing.”

In order to save face, I decided to skate around the rink one more time. As I made my way, one of the older students darted in front of me. First, I assumed this was an anomaly, considering the size of the rink. However, I noticed a pattern as this same student kept passing: in front, on the side, or behind me, within inches each time.

“Are you trying to hit me?” I called out, half jokingly and have concerned.

There was no reply, just a smile.

Like a shark smelling their preys blood, the same student kept following me around the ice; making quick darts in front of me. I then realized that they were really enjoying this.

Needless to say, once my ankles felt totally inflamed, I decided to head off the ice and take a break. This eventually turned into a extended break, when my daughter had a nose bleed while skating.

Overall, I am quite happy I went skating. Sure, I can barely skate for beans, however, I gave it a shot and I did my best – and that’s all a man can ask for. With that said, I will be skating again this week, so pray that no bones will be broken, and that my skill will gradually increase from giraffe to elegant Elvis Stojko’s quadruple jump from 1991.

Chinese “Spy” Balloons

Last Saturday, a Chinese balloon was shot down off Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The Chinese government adamantly defended their property, stating it was a weather balloon that had went of course, while the United State Govt. took a different stance, calling it a suspected “spy balloon”. Bottom line is: the balloon was flying where it shouldn’t have been: over another nations sovereign territory and airspace.

It conveniently made its way through Alaska, down through Montana’s nuclear sites, and finally to the East Coast State of South Carolina. I use the word, conveniently, because Montana is home to one of the three nuclear silo fields in the USA ( https://fortune.com/2023/02/02/china-spy-balloon-montana-pentagon-nuclear-missile-silo-field/ ) This could have been (or already is) a major security issue, considering this “weather balloon” was full of long range antennas and electronic equipment.

I have heard some skeptics argue that this indeed could have been a weather balloon, and that the USA and Canada are saber-rattling. Firstly, let’s not forget, this is but a piece of a complicated intelligence puzzle that is being waged between China and it’s rivals. Weekly, if not daily cyber attacks are going on between these major powers. Second, China is weekly flying military aircraft incursions in Taiwan’s airspace; definitely not a stranger to another nations airspace.

Yesterday, on February 11, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau ordered for the “take down” off an unmanned, aerial object in Canadian airspace, in the Yukon. As US and Canadian fighter jets were scrambled, an American F-22 Raptor fight jet from Anchorage, Alaska, and shot down the unknown object.

Now we all now, the US most likely allowed Canada to fire on it; considering they knew of its existence as it was passing through Alaska. Plus, the US is the chief force behind NORAD, not Canada. So when Justin Trudeau announces the “take down” via social media, I take his words with a grain of salt ( as his previous records for truthful political statements is wanting) and more a political opportunity for his quote-on-quote, leadership.

This is becoming a pattern (both the balloons and JT’s use of social media for his big moments.)

Folks, we are seeing a heightened response by our militaries. It is not revealed to the public what the object was over Canada, however it was deemed enough of a threat to blow it out of the skies. Which let’s not forgot, this recent unknown object was flying around 60 kph, while only 4,000 feet above the standard civil aircraft flight height. I find this just frightening as taking pictures of military sites… or sending back Canada’s latest weather information to China.

Laser Tag Heroics

The Winter Soldier.

This laser tag player was the bane of my existence on Friday night. Sniping behind corners, sprinting down wooden halls – mercilessly shooting all in his path.

That’s the laser tag name given to one of our churches youth.

31 kills.

5 losses.

50 shots fire.

Brutal man. I usually broke even at 5 for 5.

However, as The Winter Soldier decimated our team’s rank, I decided to pull out some WW2 Band of Brothers wartime strategy. After we were pummeled over and over, our chance finally came during – Capture the Flag. The goal is to shoot the top of a glowing canister in the center of the room, until it turns your colour. After it changes to your colour, your team accumulate points for every second held.

The game was about to start.

As the seconds counted down, I turned to my teammates – all half my height and more than half my age – for an encouraging speech.

“For this one, we are going to charge up the middle. Make a straight line behind me. When we get to the center, capture the flag and hold our position.”

I watched as their eyes widened (possibly at the realization of the request and that this crazy dude was laying down some serious strategy for laser tag.) While we were rushing the middle, a fellow chaperone was going to give us covering fire on the right flank.

The laser guns started to beep.

The count down began.

3.

2.

1.

BEEEP!!!

We started to sprint like crazy people down the line, then into the next hall.

I decided to do my best impression of Dick Winters, a Lieutenant from Easy Company, 82nd airborne during WW2.

‘FOLLOW ME!!! LET’S GO!!!”

NARRATOR

As the 6’1 youth leader youth leader charged down the hall, his band of youth followed close behind, as laser guns zapped and zinged. The battle was fierce, as the enemy started to flow down the center of the wooden arena as well. Revive Company was met with heavy enemy fire, as one by one, the beepers sounded as laser guns were being shot and players having to respawn. With courage and daring, only three youth from Revive company made it down the hallway of doom, as their objective, a bright cylindrical tube, loomed in the distance.

The Revive Company leader, Sgt. Eason, yelled one last cry of inspiration, “DON’T STOP! LET’EM HAVE IT! FIREEEEEE!!!!”

As the Company approached their objective, the enemy, lead by SGT. RUSSELL began firing down the hall, picking off every member of the Revive Company. In the back of the arena was the infamous, Winter Soldier, spraying laser shots in every direction. Then in the foreground was a beautiful laser tag player, Wonder Woman, (aka Sgt. Eason’s wife!).

Doom was upon them, as the container glowed purple for a few short moments before the enemy took control.

*********

Attendants outside the room:

“Who the heck is screaming in there? By’s must think it’s a war or something.”

“Purple lost, yet again to yellow.”

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I hope you enjoyed this weeks post. Feel free to share or subscribe to The Eason Clan.

Christian

Sgt. Eason and Sgt. Russell